eat pray love

The Holidays ‘Broken Bones’ from PEDESTRIAN.TV on Vimeo.


i have a boyfriend.
i have a house in lorne (moving there in january)
i have a wealth of information gleaned from the infinite books ive been reading.
i have money.
i have started making jewellery.
hence, happiness.

my most fun thing so far has been making matching boy and girl version rings for my boyfriend and i :)

i am absolutely obsessed with pamela love jewellery; so incredibly beautiful. im also really excited to discover she uses brass and copper, which i have really enjoyed working with.

i'm not sure how much longer i'll keep this blog...

behind the clouds is lovely

been seeing lots of friends. been not getting much sleep staying up late doing homework.
i saw an opera by the knife... so strange.
i've been meditating as of monday 2 weeks ago. it's so calming and lovely, but with so much homework some days it's impossible to find the time.


ilya's extended his trip so he is back mid november... this entire time i've had one friend over once. surprisingly, with that and no boys whatsoever, i am quite content alone.


first local beach walk of this summer, combing for mermaid's tears.


endless picnics.


i feel that a lot is about to happen.

candy

so much has changed in the past week!

i decided to suck it up and get proactive in enjoying life.

so many catch ups and dinners with friends. one was at mamasita's with 2 new friends... we spetn $180 on the most incredible range of food and delicious wine. all paid for! i ate TONGUE for the first time and it was so good.

yesterday it was hot and parklife and grand final we tripped in the gardens.

really, truly, everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

after we went to a boy's house who i'd once been a leader to at arts camp. very funny, and he was really sweet. plans to surf together. going to alice's. jumping into the pool with clothes on. 4 person shower. neurofen. rice with soy and pesto. new friends. cab to mercat. line for ages. seeing love interest and realising they're not the amazing person i'd had in my head. middle aged american woman clubbing alone telling us we seem mean. so many old friends. so many new friends. all amazing and telling me they love me. being told i'm AMAZING so many times- incredible. told i was incredible also. babysitting a new friend in a big australian band only to have him repeatedly try to kiss me and half cry and plead for me to come to bed with him. craaaaazy. i'm so loved up on friendship it's fantastic, totally kills my need to find a man. however, made eyes with a boy who knowing me i will hopefully meet soon because he was beautiful.

i got home and had the longest shower and hopped into new sheets, only to wake up for work a few hours later. it's so sunny and amazing.

gypsy curse on a wise owl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atgo1qzwxiM&feature=player_embedded

it has finally got to the point where i have realised my fantasies are so much better than reality that i don't even see a point in leaving the house. i wonder if i could let go of reality in something like a meditative state i could be in a perpetual state of fantasy. is that what happens to people when they go insane?

a friend's housemate found a collection of thrown away diaries in sydney. they are really difficult to read but describe a girl's relationship and obsession with a married australian radio star. endless lists of what he played on a particular day, what he likes, dislikes... what he did to her... what he made her to do him... what happened to her?

sometimes i feel like if i tense up and hold my breath hard enough i could make all the particles in my body explode into a zillion pieces, just out of helplessness for life.

I've had conversations with a few 28 year olds recently. they are ones who are living their dreams; designers, or in really successful australian bands... but they seem just as lost and confused about life as I am . and tell me I'm so wise for my age.

I'm constantly restless. I'm reading Truman Capote's In Cold Blood.

There is a race of men that don't fit in,

A race that can't stay still;

So they break the hearts of kith and kin

And roam the world at will.

They range the field and they rove the flood

And they climb the mountains crest.

Theirs is the curse of gypsy blood

And they don't know how to rest.

easier to retreat into my head right now, i'm so impatient for SOMETHING. 

getting out of bed is difficult.

drunk girls

i. dont. understand. how. things. keep. happening. to. me.

spring spring spring spring spring spring spring 

 

march on a tram i sat opposite a boy who i was infinitely attracted to.

2 days later i went to hand in my resume somewhere and he is the person who takes it.

2 weeks later, he was on the tram again and we chatted for a while.

over the following months i saw him around, always thinking about how amazingly attracted i was to him, and how funny the whole thing was.

last thursday night i went to a fashion launch, and he was going in ahead of me.

friday morning i wake up in a sheet-tent in my living room, candles still burning, cuddled up next to him.

LCD SOUNDSYSTEM:
I believe in waking up together
So oh oh
That means making eyes across the room

is fate is fate is fate real?

finally have started properly househunting for lorne 2010/2011 

i want a shack to make my bubble

green waves

after a month and a half of working full time i went to bali.

my camera died :(

wakeup every morning at 5 or 6 am to join a surf group. we surfed 4-5 hours a day, piling into cars according to our skill level and driving off to different beaches, past towns, rice patties, temples, sacred cows, endless motorbikes, to find the perfect waves.

the green room:

nothing can compare to the feeling of being so excited and scared as when you are about to catch a big wave. being around people who share the sense of being so free, with such an appreciation of the simplest of what nature has to offer- something that has been around since the beginning of earth... the sea. 

i had a forbidden romance with a half-german half-french guide stemmed from a yoga session with him in a dark, hot garden lit by the full moon. on the last night i stayed with him in a one room apartment where you had to climb out on the ledge of the building to get to the bathroom. i don't think i slept one second that night, i felt every single second pass in amazement of my trip. in the morning he was my guide. the waves were perfect.

the overwhelming sense of living.

i've got jackets, blankets and sheets it's going to be a cold winter

love new crushes.

hate when crushes who you finally decide you are absolutely infatuated with move away.

after a week of 12 hours sleep and one all nighter i am FINISHED. just in time for winter.

dumplings. rugging up. white wine. television. helping friends move from their burnt down house. bike riding. possum beanies. japanese. cleaning up the old ksubi shop for an exhibition. watching friend's bands play. watching friends dj. curled up in dimly lit bars laughing with friends over the cheapest drinks after beer. old friends. new friends. matching dimples. winter beach walks. fairy penguins finding their beds. red wine somewhere warm. waking up to the sound of rain under a big white doona with a bare back faced away from you.

rug up, babe.