welcome mat

Banging!
It's Friday night in 2009 and I am supposedly swotvaccing. I don't really know who will look at this but I have decided to start a blog so hello world!

My life and all its disasters is actually what I've titled my latest diary but I thought some of my life's happenings would be better shared in their hilarity / drama so there we go!

Screw any intro about me and straight to this past week's events:

Listen to this song while reading, It's excellent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwoLACv_srQ

SATURDAY- Claire and I go to Royal Doof - a 3 day rave in a forest. It was somewhere about 3 hours away. The trip's madness began when we decided to have a random stop-off at Kryal castle, which is actually ridiculously heinous, tacky and generally WAY out of place in ostraylya.

Then we continued our drive fine until Claire realised she had to pee. It had been raining so we waited until the next town, which was totally creepy from the moment we drove into as it had a sign saying something like "The Tidiest Town 2008; population 200". Everything was closed so we pulled into this place that called themself a "Resort" that only had 2 cars at the front. Claire went in and I took a photo because it was so foul. Within 2 minutes some fat old crazy woman walks out fuming and comes up to my window and i open it a bit and she literally shouts "DID YOU RING THE BUZZER???" I say no but tell her that I have a friend that just went in and she shouts "WHAT???!?!?! WHERE DID SHE GO???????" and I just say "Um.. she went inside?" and the woman RUNS back inside and 10 seconds later Claire bolts out, jumps in the car and goes "DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE"... turns out it was really filthy and dusty inside and the shouting woman and another woman were hunting her down furious she'd use their bathroom. Jesus. So we sped the hell out of there.

1 pack of vegie chips later we found ourselves amidst a group of cars going the same direction as us. We got super excited as we could see a P plate and assumed we had found fellow bush doofers! We followed the 3 cars for a while but then they all turned down some dirt road... so we followed. 15 minutes later we started joking that maybe they weren't going. Especially as eerie fog had set in. Then we start driving past some empty block of land with a huge caravan full of what looks like typical murdering rednecks. And the P plater car drove into it. So we screamed at the skulls on their front gate and once again drove away very fast.

We finally found our way and the weekend was pretty crazy but I gained a new appreciation for nature and having a normal life. Not using running water or a toilet for 3 days was pretty fun, as was remaining in the same undies, bra and thermals for 3 days. Nummy nums.

Tuesday- Decide I hate my life and listen to Talkshow Host by Radiohead incessantly while on the tram into and out from the city to hand in my essay... I felt very sorry for myself and made sure I looked suitably distressed so strangers around me would pity me.

Wednesday- More self-pity, life-hating, winter-hating and study.

Thursday- Highlights:
1. Exam- While walking through the Royal Exhibition to the toilets in the middle of my exam I realise I have ALL my revision notes in my pocket. I get asked if I have a mobile phone on me but luckily pockets are not searched. Upon entering cubicle I stand freaking out for a while before deciding to quickly shove all notes into sanitary disposal bin.

2. Upon finishing exam switch on phone only to read text from love interest informing me he was back with his ex.
3. Walk through city hoping everyone can see how heartbroken I am listening to super sad music but soon give up and call my brother and have an uber-huge bitch session involving plans for murder and excellent call "his douchebaggery knows no limits" from my bro.
4. Get home and see my RM Williams I bought 2 months ago have FINALLY arrived! Put them on but they do nothing to help me feel better.

Friday- Highlights:

1. On way to work make usual stopover at The Coffee Club on Chapel to get my "Large Ice-mocha with weak chocolate and little cream" and the Coffee Club is filled with like 10 police officers. They nod and smile at me and I drop something and look down to see a Mushroom cap from the weekend on the ground and see many more on show in my open wallet. Nice.
2. After work- gym. Go on the treadmill but get high off endorphins and end up extending run to an hour. Sprint at the end to Born Slippy by Underworld and once I finish I black out and fall off the back of the treadmill.
3. Mama and her bf go out leaving me to eat dinner alone which was cruelly candlelit. I eat steak pieces with my hands because it's rude and fun. Then I hate on buckwheat noodles. Conclude anything buckwheat is spawned from Satan and ponder whether my mum is trying to help me or kill me.

And now here I am muchachas.

Stay tuned for more disasters kiddies.